Finishing up my annual leave as I type away and tomorrow will be my next phase in life - officially start my working life. These past week of illness has actually given me the chance to slow down, made my life move a little slower. Allowed me the chance to look at and feel the things around me and it made me sad. I feel awfully sad deep inside me, coupled with the fear of uncertainty. I've been thinking back on things the whole afternoon. I'm starting to miss the people that has gone further away in my life, some I miss a lot, so much that I can feel it in my heart. I miss home all of a sudden even though I just left home this morning. I miss school. I miss the things I used to do with my friends. I miss the places I've been to.
I'm 22 still, moving into 23 soon. I wonder how do people live their life up to their 30s, 40s, 50s and so on. Honestly, I don't really know how to live. Seeing them work everyday, how do they manage to do it, where does their motivation come from? Is it because of commitments that they have to fulfil or just plain working for the sake of working or it is their passion? How do they balance out work, money, time and passion? Seeing the grown ups around me, I wonder how their mind works and how do they see the world.
There's no flow or structure in my blog, I'm just writing as I think of it. So if anyone of you that might read this find it weird or what, try rearranging or make sense of it on your own.